I Once Was Lost - My Story

March 2, 2003, the day I was found. This is the story of my journey to get there.

I remember being invited as a little girl to go with a friend to a church that she attended. The Sunday School Bus drove through our neighborhood and picked us up. I was almost eight years old. I know this, because the inscription inside of the tiny red bible that I was given that day says April 11, 1976. I don't remember a whole lot about what was said when I was at the church, I only remember sitting in a circle in a little room with other same age kids and wanting to go home. I was a momma's girl. Big time. I must have been crying, someone took me to the church secretary's office. I remember dialing home and having my Mom answer. I explained to her that I didn't like it and wanted to go home. To my dismay, she told me that she would not be coming to get me and tried to assure me that I would be alright. I have no recollection of anything that happened afterward.


But I had that little red bible. With my name, address and date inside. To keep forever. Even though I could not fully grasp it on my own, I would open it up to John 3:16 and read it quite often throughout the years. I think I even read it out loud a few times, like a preacher. Probably to Kristie. Deep within my heart, the message was love, but without continuous watering of the seed that had been planted, I would not grow spiritually.

As a young teen, my Mom took Kristie and I to church where our two aunts and their families went. I remember sitting in the pew, passing notes to my cousins and almost constantly looking back at the clock. Pastor Bontrager was extremely passionate about what he was preaching, often crying at the pulpit, and at times it tugged on my heart. We got involved in their small youth group. We would go downstairs and study along with our teacher in a workbook. But still, I have no recollection of really grasping what was being taught.

Somehow, through the course of that time all three of us were baptized, my Mom, Kristie and myself. I remember standing in a small shallow baptismal. Everyone was happy for us.   I would still refer to my small red bible now and then.

As a wedding gift, John and I received a bible from my cousin and her husband. I can remember John and I earnestly trying to read it together. We knew we "should". We both had just enough Sunday School teaching in our young lives to know that it was something we should incorporate into our new lives together. In the front of the bible was a format of reading, to help guide us through the scriptures. It was a big flop. Neither of us could understand it. The bible sat on a shelf for years.

In the early to mid 90's, John's Mom and I thought we would look for a church together. We both wanted to go, but our husbands had no interest. We went to a church that a friend of hers belonged to. We were very turned off by the non-instrumental worship and never went back, nor did we search for another one together again.

When Josh was around three and a half, I started searching for a preschool program. There was a large church in town and when I checked it out, I thought it was perfect. Some simple biblical teaching, instruction on ABC's and 123's as well as improved social development. After he had been there a while, the assistant teacher who was probably a little older than my own Mom at the time, asked if my husband and I attended church. When I told her that we did not, she told me about how wonderful that church was and that there were a lot of younger families, like my own. I told her that would be "neat". Never once did we attend and she never brought it up again. I would also send the younger three kids to church preschool programs.

When Josh was probably five or so, he asked me a question while riding in the car. His little mind wanted to know, "where is God?" I responded, "Oh, he is up in the clouds!" That satisfied his little mind, but tugged at me a little. Was that the right answer?

We built our home back in 1997. Alec, our youngest, was just a baby. I was a busy Mom, shuffling kids around to school and playdates. I was also meeting other Moms. Sandy was a mother of four children, all pretty close in age to my own. Her and I would get together quite often for coffee and scrapbooking while our preschool kids played together. She would talk lightly about God and her church, which turned out to be that same church where my kids attended preschool. She even told me the story of how God got her attention one night after drinking as a young adult. She had been driving with a friend and from what she can remember, she probably would've died in a car accident that she believed only God saved her from. A few times she would invite my kids to attend church with her kids on Wednesday nights. Josh and Matthew went a couple of times. When she asked about us possibly going as a family, I responded that I didn't have any "church clothes".

Josh would occasionally ask if we could go to church. I always made excuses, but the desire was beginning to grow.

When invited to another friend's church for vacation bible school, the boys were very excited to go. I took all four of the kids for a few days that week. Everyone was very friendly, but it seemed so foreign. They were actually clapping their hands and shouting for joy during worship. When we left, Josh said he wanted to go back. We never did.

Kristie and I talked about searching for a church together. She choose a church down the street from her. We simply did not know how to go about this search and started there. Every person in there had white hair. All twenty five of them. When it was time for communion, they all lined up, took a wafer from the preacher and DRANK FROM THE SAME CUP. We were horrified. Especially since it was cold and flu season!  I don't think either of us moved from our seat. We had Josh and Matthew with us, and bless their hearts, when we walked out into the parking lot they asked, "can we come back again?" We did not.

9/11 happened and it scared me. Really scared me, like the rest of the nation. In a phone conversation with my Mom, I was panicking and telling her that I wasn't so sure about where I would go when I died. I was convinced that the terrorists were going to bomb our small town.  We finally came to the conclusion in that conversation that we were "good" people and surely God doesn't send "good" people to Hell.

Easter 2002. My neighbor next door had been attending a local community church and I thought it would be nice for all of us to attend. We went twice, maybe three times.  On one occasion, the speaker that day made me question where he was coming from when during his teaching he proclaimed that if he had died as a young man, before such and such, he would've went to Hell. What was he talking about? I didn't agree with him. We never went back.

When Kristie became pregnant with her third child, she was a little surprised but excited. We all love our babies and looked forward to new life once again. Sadly, at a little over half way into that pregnancy the little one that she was carrying no longer had a heart beat. She would deliver a lifeless baby boy in early December 2002.  We were stunned, shocked and saddened. Kristie wanted a memorial service but didn't know who and where. My Mom's neighbors just happened to be the pastor and his wife at a church near her, and that is where it was held. I remember going and listening to this pastor during the service and thinking, he is a good speaker!

Christmas Eve 2002. The three of us women, along with a few of the kids went back to that church for their Christmas play. When the pastor gave a call for salvation, I raised my hand. I didn't really realize what was happening, only that when he asked if anyone needed Jesus in their life to please raise their hand. I felt very prompted to do that.

My Mom had begun attending service by herself at that church and would periodically tell me how good the service had been that day and how nice it would be for me to attend sometime. Something inside me would still make excuses. Nothing to wear. It was our day to sleep in. But on March 2, I decided to go. I had taken the two boys with me as well.

It was that day that my life would be forever changed.

I finally got it. I heard his voice. I responded to the call.

I gave my life to the Lord.

And I have not looked back since.

(There is however, more to share.  Look for the upcoming post "Now I'm Found" soon).

*****

The ROMANS ROAD....is a pathway you can walk.

It is a group of Bible verses from the book of Romans in the New Testament. If you walk down this road you will end up understanding how to be saved.

Romans 3:23 "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."
We all have sin in our hearts. We all were born with sin.
We were born under the power of sin's control.
- Admit that you are a sinner.

Romans 6:23a "...The wages of sin is death..."
Sin has an ending. It results in death. We all face physical death, which is a result of sin. But a worse death is spiritual death that alienates us from God, and will last for all eternity. The Bible teaches that there is a place called the Lake of Fire where lost people will be in torment forever. It is the place where people who are spiritually dead will remain.
- Understand that you deserve death for your sin.

Romans 6:23b "...But the gift of God is eternal
life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
Salvation is a free gift from God to you! You can't
earn this gift, but you must reach out and receive it.
- Ask God to forgive you and save you.

Romans 5:8, "God demonstrates His own love for us, in
that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us!"
When Jesus died on the cross He paid sin's penalty. He paid the price for all sin, and when He took all the sins of the world on Himself on the cross, He bought us out of slavery to sin and death! The only condition is that we believe in Him and what He has done for us, understanding that we are now joined with Him, and that He is our life. He did all this because He loved us and gave Himself for us!
- Give your life to God... His love poured out in Jesus on the cross is your only hope to have forgiveness and change. His love bought you out of being a slave to sin. His love is what saves you -- not religion, or church membership. God loves you!

Romans 10:13 "Whoever will call on the name of the Lord will be saved!"
- Call out to God in the name of Jesus!

Romans 10:9,10 "...If you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead, you shall be saved; for with the heart man believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation."
- If you know that God is knocking on your heart's door,
ask Him to come into your heart.

Jesus said,
Revelation 3:20a "Behold I stand at the door and knock, if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him..."
- Is Jesus knocking on your heart's door?