Dear Santa,

This Christmas I would like:

1. You to drop bags of cash on everyone's doorstep...(except the Big 3's Executives, of course). No singles, fives, tens or twentys please. Just the big boys. They spend better.

2. The magic diet pill of all diet pills. Have your elves come up with one that would make you instantly 30 or so pounds lighter. While they are at it, they might as well come up with a magic yucky taste pill too. That way all food would taste yucky. Yeah. That is what I need. Only eat for survival. Not enjoyment. Enjoyment bad.

3. A maid. She would cook, clean and do laundry. An "Alice" type.

Thanks Santa, you're the best.