This is No Fairy Tale

Every Monday night like clockwork, I pick up my dad and take him to the grocery store.  Its been our routine for the past several years, since he is in poor physical health and doesn't drive anymore.

He lives alone and spends most of his time glued to the television.  He watches his favorite programs along with the news all day long, so he is very up to speed with every newsworthy story. Especially the very awful atrocities that play out daily in our world.

For a short time several years ago, he attended church.  He heard strong preaching of the Word, for the first time in all of his life.  He seemed to grasp it.  Every now and then when trouble comes our way, he will acknowledge that he is praying for whatever the situation is.

When I called to let him know about the passing of my mother-in-law, he choked back tears saying, "I prayed so hard for her."  I truly believe in his heart he did.

But what he doesn't understand is the whole concept of who God really is.

Which got me thinking.

Not many people do.

Last night, for example.  With the tragedy that unfolded at the Boston Marathon yesterday, it was the "hot topic" on the way back to his apartment.

"I don't understand," he said as he shook his head in disgust.

Me neither.

But the Spirit in me rises to remind me that these things are to happen.  We are not to be troubled, but to trust in Him.

Don't get me wrong.  Its troubling.  Extremely troubling.  But not surprising.

Its a reminder that this world is falling farther and farther away from God (troubling).  Its what the scripture says will happen (so its not surprising).

The Word of God is alive and active, never changing.  For then.  For today.  For the future.

In church we just finished up the series, "The Tree".  Pastor took us through the Bible from the Tree of Good and Evil as explained in Genesis, to the exciting last chapters in Revelation.

Exciting? Yes.  Troubling?  Yes.  How can it be both?

Because we know how it ends.  There are troubling times ahead for sure.  So troubling, our human hearts and minds almost can't take it.  But the knowledge of the Word is where the golden treasure is. We cling to the truth of what it says and the fear subsides. Good wins.  And the promises are so beautiful, we cannot truly comprehend it.

But to get there, we must understand some things.

"I don't understand why God doesn't just stomp out all of the evil," my dad continued.

"Its because that is now how he operates," I tried to explain.  "He gives us free will."

I wanted to continue and pray that I will be able to.

But it gave me such an excitement to be able to share some simple truths here.  Ones that people like my dad, simply cannot get a hold of.

I didn't understand either.  Until March 2003.  And since that date, I've dug into the Scriptures.  I am always so hungry for the truth in His Word.

What else is there to turn to?  What else has the power to change peoples lives?  To give you such promises.

This is no fairy tale.

If it were, we would have nothing.  We live.  We die.  Its all for nothing.

But that is a lie.  I hope you don't believe that.

Or worse yet, you believe that by being "good", that you are on your way up.  To the pearly gates. Floating on clouds with the angels.

That is a fairy tale.  One that has been sold time and time again to this world.

My dad stepped out of the Jeep to gather his groceries and changed the subject.  He often does.

Its hard to hear the truth.  Our hearts are so hardened.

I share a lot of Godly things on Facebook.  I almost can't help myself.   In fact, I literally cannot.  I wrestle with the Spirit sometimes about it.  "Are you sure," I'll ask.

There is so much filth out there.  Sexual immorality, drunkenness, filthy language...and on and on.

That is so offensive to our Holy God.  So, when He asks me to share, I share.  So be it.

It probably offends a lot of people. That is exactly what it does to people who do not believe.  It IS offensive.

But when you turn your heart towards Him, all of that changes.  Its life changing.  You can finally understand it.

What I'd like to share with you and my dad is this:

God is Holy.

"exalted or worthy of complete devotion as one perfect in goodness and righteousness"

He is not the 'man upstairs', controlling puppet strings.  He gave us free will.  Free to live and free to choose.  So that when we do choose Him, its with our own hearts.  Our own will.  And He lovingly accepts us as His own.

He is Holy.  I cannot stress that enough.  THAT is key.

We cannot stand before Him and live.  Moses was in his presence.  Read what happened to him.

Its through the shed blood of Christ that we can approach His throne.  He is full of Grace and Mercy and Love.

I want Grace! We need Grace!  I want Mercy! We need Mercy!  I want Love! We need Love!

Here is the truth.  And its hard to swallow.

We are NO different than the people who commit such atrocities, like the one in Boston yesterday.

Have you lied? Who hasn't!

Have you stolen something?

Have you looked upon someone with lust?

Have you hated anyone?

They are all sin against a Holy God.  He counts all of sin the same.

Hate = Murder.  Lust = Adultery.

We are no different.

But the really wicked and evil look a lot worse than we do.  When we think like that, we are lowering God to our standards. That's why its easy for my dad to ask, "Why doesn't God just stomp out evil?"

Well, He would stomp us all out.

There are no worse sins in His book.  Well, there is one.  But that's for a different day.

We will all be judged the same.

Those that are without Christ... Well, you can read it for yourself.

We all have fallen short of the Glory of God (Romans 3:23) and are in need of a Savior.

The Boston bomber(s).  The Taliban.  The Mass Murderers.  The Liberals.  The Conservatives.  And on and on and on.

We are people.  We are sinners.

Here is the good news.

We can be saved.  Redeemed.  And then turn from our sins and walk by faith.

Not give up our sins and then be saved.

We would never in our own self be able to do that.

Its His Word that sheds light onto the darkness.

So that as these atrocities unfold, I am not asking as the world asks, "Why?"

Instead, "Why not?"

We have fallen SO far away.

And its only going to get worse.

Seek Him.  He will be found.

And only then will you have most answers.  Not all.  I don't think we could handle the really, really, really big picture.

But I can tell you this: He IS.

36 Days, Forwarded Emails, a Brown Bowl and a Video

I found myself searching through my email folders today.  In search of old emails from my mom-in-law.  She would always send me "forwards" and I often did not read them.  She knew that and would sometimes tell me, "I know you don't read too many of the forwards, but the so-in-so one was really good, so if you get a chance..."  Sometimes I would go back and look, most times I still did not.  I am just not a "forward" type email person.

Today's search had me looking for personal ones from her.  Regretfully, there are less than a handful. They were short and about either our summer camping plans or arranging for her to come over and help me with Josh's open house.  Oh, how I wish there were more. 

I even secretly hoped to find one that I had somehow missed and it would be new to me.  Silly, but honestly true.

Its been five weeks. 

It was normal for us to go without seeing each other for that time frame, since she lived an hour away.    Back in the day she had always called me, but I loved that she spent the last year or so calling and catching up with her son most often. If too much time went by, she would call me and tell me how much she missed me, wanting to know how everyone was doing.  And she ended every call telling me, "love you!"

Too much time has went by now.  But there are to be no more phone calls.


Time heals.The clouds will roll away and the sun will begin shining again.


There will always be little reminders of her. 

Getting my nails done yesterday, I noticed that one of the nail powder dishes was labeled in someone's penmanship "white".  Well, that was her last name. 

My mom recently told me that when a loved one is gone, you most likely will start seeing people who looked like them.  A woman came into my work about a week ago and I remember thinking, wow, she reminds me of Ethel.

When reading through the kids baby books last night, I paid very much attention to birthday and Christmas gifts that were listed as gifts from her and their papa.  I can remember each of them so well and the delight she had in giving them.

Recently searching for the perfect upcoming mother's day gift for my own mom, made me realize that last years gift to Ethel was her last.  This year we will purchase a beautiful flowering ornamental tree and plant it in her memory.  That's gonna be tough.

When I go looking through my kitchen cupboards trying to find a certain baking dish, I inevitably come across one of her dishes.  She would bring a dish or two of food over for our gatherings and always leave the dishes behind to be returned the next time we got together.  Recently, I found her old, worn, brown bowl that she had brought rolls over in for Christmas.  I remember her always having that bowl.  It is a now a treasure.

This morning, I was looking on facebook through pictures and clicked on my videos.  I had forgotten that I had posted awhile back ago, the comical video of Matthew from when he was about four.  Well, she is in most of it.  I cannot bring myself to watch it.  My heart sank a little when I seen it.

When I chose something to wear to work this morning, I pulled out a blouse that I wore to her memorial.  I wore it that day because she had commented at the holidays how much she liked it and it now reminds me of her.

I visit her facebook profile every now and then.  I recently went through every single post she had.  It made me smile to be able to "hear" her as I read her words. 

We really, really, really miss her.